We had another ultrasound today. I am currently 16 weeks along with this new baby! Everything, so far, is growing right on track. The doctor says it's still a teeny bit early to 100% guarantee smooth sailing from here on out, so she wants to see me back in 3 weeks for an official "kick you out of this office" party. I told her I'd bring the cupcakes!
We also found out we're having a BOY!! At our 13 week ultrasound they had a sneaky suspicion that it was a boy but couldn't confirm it until today. We are THRILLED!
I have three amazing friends who have also been through what we went through with Carina. Same diagnosis. Same choice to carry their sweet babies--all girls. Two of them, so far, have gone on to have boys and I am now added to that list! I was talking with my mom and just sort of pondering aloud as to why God would give us all boys instead of girls. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited about this boy! But I love my girls. I know girls. Had a great name picked out for a girl. I expected another girl. I wasn't disappointed by a boy...but I think I was just expecting a girl. So I wondered aloud about it and my mom, in her wise mom-way, said, "I think God gave all of you girls baby boys so you wouldn't feel that these babies are a replacement, in any way, for the one that is not here anymore. So you wouldn't ever wonder if Carina would have been like this baby. God gave you boys so that you can continue to heal and so you can continue to hold a special place for Carina in your heart."
She's right. I don't think I would ever intentionally feel that way about another baby girl, but it's a natural thought. And I'm thankful God spared me from feeling that way. This new baby will be his own person. He will be just who God is making him to be and nothing less. We will raise him as well as we can and pray every step of the way. I'm thankful for all three of my babies. I've learned a little more about God from each one.
We like the name Jesse. I've seen two meanings of this name. 'The Lord exists,' and 'A gift.' Both are a perfect expression of how I feel about this new life.
"I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With Him at my right hand I will not be shaken." Psalm 16:8
