Glory and Answers

My whole pregnancy, I have only seen my OB doctors 3 times, and I've been going every 2 weeks since February. So when I got to the doctor's office today and was told the doctor was at the hospital, I wasn't too surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised. After 40 minutes of waiting, we were called back. The nurse was very sweet and took my blood pressure, my weight and double checked that everything was going...normal. I told her yes and she reminded me that the nurse practitioner would be seeing me today. She left the room and less than 2 minutes later another nurse came in and told me that Dr. Cohen had just pulled in and would be right in to see me. Quicker than I could even get excited, the doctor knocked on the door and greeted us. He said hi to Autumn and told her how beautiful she was (he's the doctor who delivered her, and he loves seeing her). He checked all the nurses notes on the computer, asking me how I was feeling mentally. I told him I have my moments, but I'm doing okay. He nodded and had me lie down for my exam. He measured me and saw that I'm now measuring 41 weeks. I'll be 32 weeks on Thursday. He also felt around to see where Carina's head was and it's already down. He said that's not a good thing. Because of all the extra fluid, she's able to flip and flop around. Extra play room, but bad for delivery. They are worried that she could be breech or worse. I spoke with Dr. Baron after the OB appointment and presented the doctor's concern to her and she said I shouldn't get worried about it just yet. We will wait and see what our ultrasound appointment shows next Tuesday. If the fluid is increasing too much like they are saying, and they want to drain any, it will hopefully limit her movement enough to keep her from flipping around so much. But if not, we still may see that it's not as bad a situation as we're thinking.

Before I left, Dr. Cohen gave me a big hug and told Autumn to "stay pretty." We are praying that Carina does not flip into a position where a Cesarean is needed. Our goal is to keep from having a C-section if at all possible.

I've been reading Angie Smith's book, I Will Carry You, and a few things she writes about have really meant a lot to me lately. First, we are safe with the Lord. We don't have to have all the answers. We don't have to feel like we need to "fill the gaps." He has put the gaps there so we will press into Him deeply.

John 11:40 says, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" Belief shows up in many different ways. Sometimes it shows up in a waiting room. Sometimes it shows up at home. Sometimes it shows up at the grocery store. Wherever it shows up, it doesn't always mean you have the answers your looking for. It doesn't even mean you GET answers. But answers aren't what give God glory. God's glory is found in those moments when your heart is breaking and you still can praise Him. His glory is found when people pass you, and know you're struggling with something, yet your faith is what shines through the most. God's glory isn't in the answers. It IS the answer.