What Happens in St. Augustine Stays in St. Augustine...sort of

Let me begin by thanking everyone who prayed for us this past weekend. Our trip went well. We had a few times where things didn't go so well, but that's what makes for good memories. I have found that the stories we share that don't contain some kind of sarcasm, humor, or problem that needs solving, aren't really worth the re-telling.

We left for St. Augustine on Friday around 6pm. After dropping off Autumn at my parents house, saying our goodbyes, and giving last minute instruction for our potty trainee, we were off. The drive up wasn't bad, although I missed the exit for the 24-hour Starbucks, and we arrived at the beach resort my sister had booked for us around 10:15pm. I went in with my reservation paperwork and saw the line of about 4 other families waiting to check in. One of witch was a young couple with a daughter about Autumn's age running around. It pulled on my heartstrings a bit because I assumed Autumn would be doing the very same thing at 10:30 at night if we let her. It also was a painful reminder of why we were there.

I waited patiently for my turn, hoping I wouldn't have a problem checking in since my sister was the one who paid for the room. I looked around the lobby, noticing the door behind the front desk was hanging off its hinges and the frazzled, blond lady checking people in had something to say about everything. Suddenly, I heard a giant "SCREECH!" I looked around and saw a bird cage, floor to ceiling, with a parrot inside. I guess this is what makes for good beach decor...? Finally it was my turn. I stepped forward and told her my name, mentioning my sister was the one who paid for the room. She checked us in without a problem, gave me my room keys and I headed back to the car. We drove to the side of the hotel where she said our room should be and couldn't find it. Then we figured it was inside so we parked and got our bags. We found the room and let ourselves inside. As we turned on the light I took in our surroundings and noticed something on the floor. Upon further inspection, I noticed a lot of somethings on the floor. It had not been vacuumed at all. And it wasn't just paper or dirt....it was toenail clippings. I wouldn't even take off my shoes. I walked into the bathroom and saw a hair in the sink and the toilet had not been scrubbed. I came back into the room where Ken was already laying on the bed watching TV, waiting for my inspection to be over. I noticed the TV had duct tape holding it together. I walked over to the window where our "deluxe ocean view" should be and noticed the giant sand dune that blocked our "deluxe ocean view." I turned to Ken and said, "We're not telling Suzy about this." I didn't want to stay but the front desk was so busy and it was already 11pm by this time, so we stayed. We planned to get up early and look for somewhere else to stay.

They say everything looks better in the morning. This hotel was not one of those things. The sun simply emphasized its flaws. Ken was excited, however, because it looked like there was a surfing competition going on at the beach. He soon found out it was a kids competition, but he made a mental note to come back with a surf board the next time we were there. We packed our bags and vacated the room and drove to the nearby Publix for some breakfast. I ran in for some muffins and saw the Starbucks next door. Heaven! Ken had gone over to the Subway for breakfast so I walked down to meet him. We talked about what our plan for the day was and started calling around for another place to stay for the night. The first two places were booked but we got lucky with the third. A nice place not too far from where we were staying and very close to downtown St. Augustine. We drove over so I could inspect the room before we booked it, saw that it was a fine place to stay, and headed back to cancel at the other hotel.

On the way, I called my mom to check in and she asked how the hotel was. Ken laughed because he knew I couldn't go without telling her the truth. So I started to tell her about the door off its hinge in the lobby, the giant bird cage, and then mentioned the floor not being vacuumed and she said, "Wait a minute...let me get your sister." I winced and said, "She's there already??" Oh yes, she was there and ready to fight with the hotel people before I even mentioned the word 'toenail.' I told her we were on our way back to get a refund for the second night and possibly a discount on the first. She said if they give us a problem to let her know.

We arrived at the hotel and I went inside, ready to be nice but firm. I started to calmly explain that we weren't happy with the way our room was when we arrived the night before, would be checking out, and would like a refund on the second night and possibly a discount on the first. She cocked her head and asked what was wrong with the room. So I told her. I said the floor hadn't been vacuumed, the bathroom hadn't been cleaned, and before I could mention the holes in the comforter or the toenail clippings, she said, "Really? I'm really surprised that you would have that kind of complaint from that part of the hotel." My jaw dropped on the floor. THAT part of the hotel? I thought. So there are parts of the hotel that you rent out to actual human beings that you wouldn't be surprised to hear that this happened? I kept my mouth shut, however, and went on to say, "And there were also holes in the blankets on the bed." You would have thought I told her I found a rat or something. She freaked out. She said, "Oh my goodness! You need to write all of this down and I need to tell the housekeeping staff!" So I said okay and wrote everything down, even adding that with what they charge for the rooms, they should be able to buy a new TV instead of using duct tape. She discounted us $20 for the first night and refunded the entire amount for the second, not charging us a cancellation fee. We left happy and began our search for the perfect spot to place Carina's ashes.

Ken and I had talked about looking around the Lighthouse or the beach or maybe at the Fountain of Youth where we remembered there being a few spots that might work. Before we made it to any of those places, we drove by a little farmers market that was near the St. Augustine Amphitheater. We thought it was at the Anastasia State Park so we went in and checked it out. The theater gates were open so we went in and walked around. No one was there and it was so peaceful. There were two ledges near the front of the stage area that had a bunch of trees and they were blocked by railings about waist high. Both Ken and I thought this would be a great place for Carina. Beautiful, peaceful, and the occasional concert to enjoy. We still had places to check out so we didn't decide right away.

We left and walked all over downtown, asking different vendors and information people if there were any gardens nearby. No luck. We checked out the Catholic church with the giant cross (for those of you who know what I'm referring to) but that didn't feel right to us. We went to the lighthouse but they wouldn't even let us walk on the grounds without paying their fee to get in so we nixed that idea. We found some pretty oak trees gathered around near some water but that didn't feel right either. We both just kept going back to the Amphitheater. So we decided to head back there. We stopped by Publix and bought a beautiful orange-coral colored rose. I looked at the time and it was 4:08pm....the time of Carina's birth. We drove, a little nervously, back to the Amphitheater, not sure how we were going to do what we came to do. Should we say something? Should we stay quiet? Should we leave the rose or take it home as a remembrance? Neither of us had any clue. We walked hand in hand down to the front both thinking about how peaceful it felt. Her ashes were in a little black box. We set it down with the rose and took some pictures. Ken opened the box and dug a little hole in the mulch and dirt and poured Carina's ashes in. He covered them up and we took more pictures. He wanted some from the stage of the theater, so he walked away with the camera and his thoughts. I sat on the stage across from where we placed her. When Ken was out of earshot, I sang to her. "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." It's from the 'Love You Forever' book by Robert Munsch. Autumn and I read it many times while I was pregnant, and it just seemed appropriate to sing it one more time for Carina. As soon as I finished, I heard Ken take a few pictures of me sitting there, staring at the rose. I looked at him and we both smiled sadly. Soon we heard a saxophone begin to play, practicing for the blues festival that was starting nearby. Ken said how she already gets to hear music, took my hand and we sat there crying for a little while. Soon we got up and left, knowing we had found the right spot for her. It was sad and hard, but so healing.

I still have the black box and I took two petals from the rose. They're in the box of memories now. I'll pull them out, along with the pictures we took, and know that someday I'll be able to smell the orange-coral colored roses with my sweet girl as we sing praises to the One who brought us together.