The Countdown Begins

(Warning: Some TMI may follow in this post.)

I had another ultrasound yesterday. Probably my last. At my last ultrasound, the doctor said my fluid should taper off and possibly decrease. At yesterdays appointment, I was told my fluid had increased. Not a big jump, I'm at 41 now, but still increasing. I don't know if I've ever explained why this is happening. Basically, because Carina's chest is so small, she's unable to drink, breathe, or absorb the fluid in any way. And so it just backs up. And it will keep backing up until she's born. Even though she was practice breathing, she isn't actually taking in much fluid. At our last appointment, the doctor also said she fully expected Carina to come between 36 and 37 weeks. Normally, babies with Achondrogenesis are born between 28-35 weeks, but the doctor knew we had defied all odds up to this point. She was pretty certain, based on how big I'm measuring, that Carina would be here between 36-37 weeks. Tomorrow I will be 35 weeks. 37 weeks put us right at Ken's birthday. He and I had talked about it and, if at all possible, we didn't want to be celebrating a birthday and remembering Carina at the same time every year. Our ultrasound doctor had said she'd like to see us go to 36 weeks, but that all depended on Carina's cooperation. 36 weeks would be right around Memorial Day weekend. Ken and my parents both have that Monday off for the holiday, so we thought, logically, we should ask about being induced that weekend. Some of the benefits of being induced are that we could make sure all the nurses we want there will be there, our photographer will be there, and our family will be there. But even more than those things, in this time of being unable to plan for anything, we can at least feel somewhat in control of something. (It's still ultimately up to God, but that was our thought).

At my OB appointment last week I spoke to my primary doctor and asked him if he thought that was a good idea, and even possible. I wasn't induced with Autumn so I didn't know what to expect or what was required. The OB said he was okay with it, but our ultrasound doctor needed to give her permission.

So at our appointment yesterday, after finding out that the fluid was still increasing, I brought up the possibility of being induced. She actually was in favor of this. Since my fluid keeps increasing, the concern for me and future pregnancies increases as well. When you are measuring bigger than normal, your uterus becomes thinner and thinner. One of the reasons twins are usually born early. This can make it dangerous to carry future pregnancies, and sometimes even impossible, if your uterus gets too thin. So our ultrasound doctor agreed that as long as my body was starting to get ready for delivery (WARNING), meaning I have a "favorable cervix," she was giving the green light for being induced. She said that since I'm already having contractions, Carina's head is still down, this is my second birth, and because Autumn came so quickly, we should be able to have a successful vaginal delivery.

And to top it off, our ultrasound doctor will be on-call that weekend! She has been with us from the beginning and it's so appropriate that she see us through to the end. She expressed her desire to be there for us and that, to me, is amazing. We have such an amazing medical staff! She also told me that there was a big hospital meeting about me last week, just informing everyone of everything so that there wouldn't be any questions or freaking out or worry about what to do with me. Everyone is prepared and ready for our arrival. How incredible is that?

Part of this meeting was to make sure that everyone knew what could possibly go wrong with me. Because I'm measuring so big, there will be a LOT of extra fluid, possibly excessive bleeding, and they worry that my uterus may not contract down on its own after Carina is delivered.

Today's OB appointment was pretty quick. Dr. Cohen came in and measured me (measuring 49 weeks today), and found I am already 2 centimeters dilated, 50% effaced, and he could feel the baby's head. He agreed we should schedule for May 28th. He also mentioned, as did our ultrasound doctor, that it's very possible I won't make it to the 28th. There is no danger to wait that long, but they're all saying my water could break on its own (like it did with Autumn). Since there's so much fluid, if that happens, I have to get right to the hospital. Needless to say, we're praying that Carina waits for the 28th!

So the countdown has begun. 10 days left. (Maybe less). Our ultrasound doctor said she knows I'd stay pregnant till I actually was 49 weeks if I could. And I would. As uncomfortable as I am, as little sleep as I'm getting these days, as hard as it is...I would keep her alive forever if I could. But I can't. But even knowing how very little time is left, I am so thankful for all the time we did have. She wasn't supposed to make it this long. I shouldn't be able to still feel her kicking because of all the fluid. So I'm thankful. We've been able to make so many memories with her. I'm thankful that we have been able to prepare, to some degree. I'm thankful for all the support we've had and continue to have. The clock has always been running, and even though there's an actual number now, I'm still thankful. I'm nervous, excited, afraid, happy, and sad...but thankful. 10 days or less...the time has come to start our goodbyes.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings.
Calloo-Callay come run away,
With cabbages and kings."