Three...

Three days to go.

We got our official date and time for the induction. Saturday the 28th at 8am. They expect everything to go smoothly and don't think I will need a C-section. I have another OB appointment tomorrow where they will check to see if I'm dilated any further. We're praying for three more days. I can tell my body is ready to give up the fight soon. I've been resting all this week which has helped, but I'm moving very slow. I feel bad for Autumn because she constantly wants me to get on the floor and play with her. She doesn't understand that I want to but can't. All she knows is mommy won't play with her and it breaks my heart. But she's such a trooper. She just says, "okay" and continues to amuse herself. Until about 10 minutes goes by and she's asking me to play again.

I went to the hospital today to meet with one of the counselors there and sign some paperwork. I also found out that all three of the nurses we wanted to be there, can't be there for one reason or another. So I met the nurse who will be with us on Saturday. She's a Christian, which is wonderful! We also determined who would do the footprints and hand prints and that sort of thing, and we had to discuss the process of what will happen after.

I've been reading in the Psalms today and since I really didn't know where to begin, I looked up the different topics in the Psalms and started at the beginning: afraid. Psalm 27 was one of the options so I went there. This Psalm is full of lines from some of my favorite worship songs. It's one thing I love about the Psalms. "The Lord is the stronghold of my life--whom shall I fear?" I looked up 'stronghold' and found that it is 'a fortified place or fortress; a place of survival or refuge.' This is the place I want to be in for the next three days. (I need to remain there indefinitely, but I know I need to be there for the next three days.) I have always feared the unknown. God's given me so many areas to trust amidst the unknown in the past 4 months. And I've done my absolute best to do that. It has not always been easy, and as we approach the end of this road, I have found myself trying to rely on my own strength to get me by. I'm constantly reminded that this is bigger than me and being near the end, I'm actually starting to fear the end. This chapter has reminded me that with Christ, I have nothing to fear. He knows what tomorrow holds. He knows what Friday holds. He knows what Saturday holds. He's been there, can see how everything unfolds, and is holding out His hand for me to take, assuring me that everything is okay.
The chapter ends with "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in this life. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." I am confident in this. I know that whatever the next three days holds for us...we will see the goodness of the Lord. Whatever happens on Saturday, God's goodness will be evident.

~~Selah