Blessings

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.~~ Psalm 139:13-16

We had another ultrasound yesterday. The amniotic fluid jumped from 29.7 up to 39 in just two weeks. The ultrasound doctor said we still shouldn't need to drain any, however. After 32 weeks, the fluid tends to stop increasing, and even goes down a little. Since I am not overly uncomfortable, they see no reason to do anything and we should just see how the next week or two goes.
I had the ultrasound tech that we had at our very first ultrasound. He even remembered me and was wonderful. I had to go to this appointment by myself for the first time, and I wasn't sure how it would go. But he was so understanding, and didn't try to use big words and talk "smart." Instead, he was very patient, answering questions I had, humored me when I asked what things were measuring, and he gave me a great gift: 3D pictures of our beautiful baby. They got a new machine at the office and after he did all her bone and fluid measurements, he pulled out the 3D wand and started looking around. I was telling a friend of mine that, as silly as it sounds, I felt like that moment was...holy. Here I was, technically alone, laying in silence, watching my daughters face. I have never been in such awe or amazement. And of course, I cried. Just as I cry now remembering that moment. Bless that tech for his sensitivity and understanding. He didn't rush around, or try to excuse anything. He took his time, allowing me to see my beautiful girl. And then he said with a smile, "I don't suppose you want a picture?" I cried some more as I told him I would love a picture. He gave me 15 amazing shots. He showed me her legs and arms, fingers and toes, and let me watch her just moving around.

And the most amazing part? The pictures were so clear. So amazing and perfect. And he told me normally the 3D pictures aren't clear and the baby looks squished because they don't have a lot of space at this point. The reason we could see her so crystal clear....because of all the extra fluid. So this "problem" that I've been having with the increase in fluid....looking like I'm due any day when I really have 2 months left....is the biggest blessing I could have asked for. It has allowed us to see Carina so clearly, alive and well, while I'm still carrying her.

I think of that song, Blessings by Laura Story. It's all about redefining the word "Blessings." We think blessings are when God gives you what you pray for. But what about when He doesn't? Isn't He still good? I believe so. There is sometimes blessing in the absence of things we ask for. It's in the trusting in Him, in utter reliance on Him. He's still good, even when we don't understand what He's doing. I questioned every week, "How much bigger will I measure this time?" And we prayed that the fluid wouldn't jump so high to where we'd need to drain any. But if the fluid had not been this high, we would not have such beautiful pictures and memories to keep.

Be reminded of that as you bring your prayers to God. He is still good regardless of the answer.

Here is one of the pictures of our sweet Carina. Be blessed.